Friday, April 24, 2009

Letter #2, April 25, 2009 - To Hayden

This is to you my oldest daughter. Let me start by saying you have captured my heart for forever. You will never fully understand how much I love you but I hope one day these letters to you, your mom and your sisters give you a small glimpse. It will probably only be equivalent to a rain drop in the Pacific Ocean but I hope that drop will motivate you one day to find a man in this world that will never let you feel second to anything.

We went on a date a few weeks back at your request - you don't even understand how special that made me feel. Our first of many dates to come. You are only 3 years old but sitting at that table with you it felt like I had to keep fighting my imagination from seeing us sitting there when you are 13 and 23 and 33. It was a wonderful time. You talked my ear off and asked many questions multiple times. We only had two major spills. I felt our waitress earned her tip that night. You are growing into such an awesome and beautiful little girl. I hope we have thousands of dates in our lives and I hope that they never feel drab to you. I can promise you that they will be very special to me, every one of them.

I promised myself and God when you were born I would not live my life in fear of raising a daughter in this time and age and I find myself even tonight choking back tears knowing that God is going to have to help me with this one. I went into your room tonight just a little bit ago while you were asleep and laid with you for a few minutes. You snuggled up to me and told me you loved me while still being half asleep. I wanted to hold you forever. I prayed tonight that God hold back the fear of what is to come and that he gives me an unbelievable strength to help you live life to the fullest to meet what incredible future he has for you head on.

Like I have quoted many times from your book "I like you forever, I love you for always, As long as I am living, my baby you will be". Know that I will always be here for you no matter what, in your successes and failures, in broken heart moments and mountain top experiences. I pray that God gives me wisdom and fills in my inadequacies so that you never feel that you can't come running to daddy at any time for any reason and know you are running to open arms and an open heart that will smile, laugh, cry with you - whatever you need. Right now we have a game that when I come home each day you hide and then I find you and you run to me and give me a hug and kiss. I hope that never ends.

God, I need Your wisdom, strength, understanding, grace, love. Make me a picture of Your love, for my wife and my daughters. I will hold You to it just like I know You already hold me to it.

"Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express." Joseph Addison

With all my love,


1 comment:

  1. Bj, you are amazing. Once again, you have successfully made me cry. I know how precious this will be to HayHay. I have saved all the letters/cards my Dad wrote to be growing up and they are still so sweet to me (I continue to save them!) :).
    You are the standard I will hold all future suitors/stepdads to! I'm not kidding!
    I am so proud of the man/husband/Dad you have become (and are becoming). I hope that you are able to conquer your fear of raising a daughter in this day/age b/c I will be sending Hallie to live with you when she turns 13.
    (for some reason google is making me post this as my dad)