Friday, April 24, 2009

Letter #2, April 25, 2009 - To Hayden

This is to you my oldest daughter. Let me start by saying you have captured my heart for forever. You will never fully understand how much I love you but I hope one day these letters to you, your mom and your sisters give you a small glimpse. It will probably only be equivalent to a rain drop in the Pacific Ocean but I hope that drop will motivate you one day to find a man in this world that will never let you feel second to anything.

We went on a date a few weeks back at your request - you don't even understand how special that made me feel. Our first of many dates to come. You are only 3 years old but sitting at that table with you it felt like I had to keep fighting my imagination from seeing us sitting there when you are 13 and 23 and 33. It was a wonderful time. You talked my ear off and asked many questions multiple times. We only had two major spills. I felt our waitress earned her tip that night. You are growing into such an awesome and beautiful little girl. I hope we have thousands of dates in our lives and I hope that they never feel drab to you. I can promise you that they will be very special to me, every one of them.

I promised myself and God when you were born I would not live my life in fear of raising a daughter in this time and age and I find myself even tonight choking back tears knowing that God is going to have to help me with this one. I went into your room tonight just a little bit ago while you were asleep and laid with you for a few minutes. You snuggled up to me and told me you loved me while still being half asleep. I wanted to hold you forever. I prayed tonight that God hold back the fear of what is to come and that he gives me an unbelievable strength to help you live life to the fullest to meet what incredible future he has for you head on.

Like I have quoted many times from your book "I like you forever, I love you for always, As long as I am living, my baby you will be". Know that I will always be here for you no matter what, in your successes and failures, in broken heart moments and mountain top experiences. I pray that God gives me wisdom and fills in my inadequacies so that you never feel that you can't come running to daddy at any time for any reason and know you are running to open arms and an open heart that will smile, laugh, cry with you - whatever you need. Right now we have a game that when I come home each day you hide and then I find you and you run to me and give me a hug and kiss. I hope that never ends.

God, I need Your wisdom, strength, understanding, grace, love. Make me a picture of Your love, for my wife and my daughters. I will hold You to it just like I know You already hold me to it.

"Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express." Joseph Addison

With all my love,

Daddy

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Letter #1, January 1, 2009 - Epic started some time ago

I have been wanting to put pen to paper for some time now. Why have I just started? Possibly because of our every day life that has become over the years more and more involved. I want to have this for my loves to look back on and see no matter what happens over our lives together, that I was always thinking of you, praying for you, loving you with all that I know, and constantly trying to learn how to love better and purer than the day before.

Lindsay - We have been married for five and a half years and in love for much longer than that. I love you so much. You are so wonderful to me. You are everything that I am not and then the things that I am, you are better than me in those areas too. You inspire me daily to become a better version of myself. You are a woman of integrity. I true beauty. An amazing wife and mother to your girls. I hope that they turn out to be images of you as they grow and come into their own. They already show me the joy that you exude every day. You are my one and only. I knew that from the first day that you sent me the most straight forward love letter that I had ever read. You knocked me off my feet and here I was, suppose to sweep you off of yours. I love to hear you talk. I love to hear you laugh. I love that you have a party in your head almost 24/7. I love that you exude confidence. You are so creative. You are the best friend that all people want to have. You are truly incredible. And I must throw this in, you are my firecracker. You are a love that is worth fighting for for all time.

Hayden - You are a smart, beautiful young girl. You make me laugh every day, no exceptions. Your brain is amazing. I can not wait to see what you chose to do in your life. I am sure it will be something wonderful that will make this world a better place. You are a very strong girl. You get that from me and your mother, mainly your mother. I pray that her strength passes to all three of you girls. I love you so much. You changed my life so much when you came into our world. My heart about skips a beat every time you run to me to give me a kiss and a hug when I get home from work. I am smitten with you. I must add that your mother and I very much envy your dance moves. You come up with a new move for each song you hear and they are very good. I am sure that dancing will be something you enjoy for your whole life.

Ella - My Ella Bella. You have been through so much in your short life so far. What you had to go through when you were born really pushed your mom and my faith to really be stretched and grow. I had the most helpless feeling watching you as you fought for your life. All I had to lean on was your mother and God. He took so good care of you. Now you have such an amazing story to tell one day. I will never forget your beginning. You are our miracle. You are so pretty. You have quite a bit of drama in you. That of course comes from your mother. I love it. I love when you laugh and how fast you have learned to walk. I love all your smiles. You are a joy and are growing up so fast. You are amazing.

Preslyn - My little baby. You are my little doll. You are always a barrel of laughs. You smile the prettiest smile. You love to sit for a minute and figure out a toy and then go to town playing with it once you have it all figured out. You are very intelligent. You love to lay on Ella and hear her squeal or laugh at you. You love to get your special time with mom and I. You came home from the hospital before Ella and I remember those nights being with you and rocking you back to sleep. You were so tiny and gorgeous. You had me wrapped around your figure so fast like your two sisters and mother did.

This is the beginning to many letters to you my loves. Our life together will be an epic love story of a man that gave all he had and more to the loves that God placed in his life. I promise to try my best to every day leave all of me out there for you. I will not look back on my life with regrets of what I should have said or done. Life is too short. God will teach me how to love and I will work on that love till the day that He decides is my last. A french poet named Victor Hugo said "To Love is to Act". This is why I am doing this.

To be beloved is all I need,
And whom I love, I love indeed.
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge